This post is for the kid getting picked on right now either because she’s (or he’s) smart (e.g. a threat to a brutish bully going through puberty) or perhaps lacks a bit of confidence and is deemed an easy target.  Now, I was always on the side of the guy that was getting picked on.  I remember routinely stepping in and taking down a guy my size when he was picking on a smaller guy.  That was just my style.  I wasn’t for hire like in the classic teenage movie My Bodyguard, but perhaps my desire for fairness had something to do with it.

If you’re a kid (or for that matter a young woman/man or an adult or an older woman/man), and you’ve always had a complex about how small or weak you were,  I would offer the following humble advice.

Start lifting weights.  It’s not a competition, it’s about what you can do.  You’ll find that just because the guy/gal next to you can lift more, this will mean less to you after you find out what you’re capable of doing.  It doesn’t matter whether you ever played sports in school or are athletic or not, building up your strength is a worthy goal not for vanity’s sake, but for your health’s sake.  For your immune system’s sake.  For the sake of your well being and self confidence.

And above all when you start lifting weights, KEEP READING THOSE BOOKS!  From 15 years old to 21 years old I was a vacuum of all reason, but before 15 I was a 4.0 GPA student.  If you’re hitting the weights and hitting the books, and you’re a nerd (with all respect, for I’m one of the biggest nerds I know), you’ll indeed be a very successful person.  Tall, short, skinny or fat, girl or boy, you can make yourself stronger.

See this picture of Henry Rollins, former lead singer of the legendary band, Black Flag, below?

I’ve got news for you.  Henry is a big nerd. Probably one of the biggest nerds out there!  He was a young scared troubled boy before he started lifting.  His fit physique is from years of honing his muscle mass, it wasn’t always so.  If you’re getting picked on by a bully, I think this essay is one of the best of all time for you to read. (CLICK HERE!)

I don’t agree with all of Henry’s politics and maybe have a different diet and workout routine than he does, but I don’t care.  Henry’s love and respect of “the iron” is a love and respect that he has for himself.

Remember, all of the stuff you’re going through is temporary.  One of the best ways to change your happiness level is to change your understanding of what you’re capable of.   Here are my recommendations based on how I did it as a teenager (the parts that I did right at least, I’ll leave out the parts I did wrong), and what I’ve learned since then.

1. When starting out, just focus on the basics.  Don’t try every workout under the sun when you’re first starting out.   My advise would be just the Big Five Workout by Dr. Doug McGuff.  Dr. McGuff has a great story about finding out about lifting weights via newsletters by Arthur Jones when he was just a kid.  McGuff is an emergency room doctor now, he still lifts weights, and he’s the same articulate compassionate person he was back when he was a teenager.
   
   If you’re a young lady (or young man for that matter) that’s getting teased for her weight, or for one thing or another, check out Cassandra Forsythe’s site. Cassandra has her PHD now, she’s a doctor in her own right, probably one of the fittest scientists in the world.  I can’t think of no better role model for a young girl than Cassandra.
   
2. At first, forget about the supplements, and the crazy hard core magazines for now.  Don’t buy all of the crazy powders or protein bars, or lame sports drinks.  Learn how to do the major lifts first.
3. When you go into the gym for the first time, go up to the king or queen.  It can be intimidating for the first time, especially if you’re 13 or 14 and weigh 120 pounds (or if you’re a pudgy kid with no muscle).  When he or she is NOT lifting weights!, go up to the biggest or most fit guy or gal in the gym, and with all of your courage ask him or her for advice.  Big muscleheads (or very fit gorgeous women)  all love to talk about their routines, if they’re not too busy that is.  Humbly tell him/her that you’re just starting to learn to workout and ask what their routine is, and you’ll be surprised at how much time they’ll give you.  And if they act like jerks, don’t waste your time on them, find another person to ask (including of course the trainer).  90% of the reason I’m telling you to ask these questions and just LISTEN to these people is not solely because you may hear something of value (there’s a good chance the workout routine you may hear will be complete rubbish!) but to calm you down, to let you know that in a gym you are equal to anyone in there.
4. Start eating right. Read the “evolutionary cannons” I have on the left hand side of the menu bar.  Start eating massive amounts of vegetables, fruits and healthy fish and meat.  Stop eating sugar, and all of those processed foods.  Not because mommy is telling you, but because in order to get good body composition, remove much of the anxiety and/or depression you may be feeling, you need to stop eating garbage.  If you’re smart, and I have a feeling you are, you’re ready for The Paleo Diet.  If you’re interested in looking out at infinity and understanding what black holes and unfound galaxies are out there, then learn about what’s going on inside you, your body, the product of millions of years of life on this planet.  You can do it.
5. Don’t start starting fights and don’t you dare give up those books.   Defend yourself, yes!  But still use reason and your self confidence to avoid violence and negative thoughts if some idiot is trying to bully you.  You’re getting stronger and healthier now everyday.  Don’t become a meathead like that male bully, or a vapid vacant mind like that female bully.  Keep studying, keep learning about what you’re body is capable of.
6. Sleep right. Go to bed at 10pm, get up at 6am.  Get at least 7 hours in of sleep if that’s not possible.
7. You’ll become an adult. It takes awhile.  You’ll learn how to become a woman or man.  You’ll figure this all out.  It’s a lot easier when you’re smart, eating right and strong.
8. Don’t give up. If you can’t afford a gym membership, go to the gym at your school.  If that’s not available there’s a lot of routines that you can do with your own body weight.

I was always a big kid, usually a bit bigger than all of the other kids throughout my time growing up.  When I wasn’t the biggest kid, I got picked on my fair share, I guess.  I felt fortunate that I was a bit bigger, given that I was rather thoughtful kid (still am), and didn’t favor picking on other kids.  I probably would have been picked on a lot more had I not had the ability to fight back, physically at times, or perhaps other times not needing to as my size was a natural deterrent.

I was good at sports, but in junior high I was on the math team.  I wish that I would have done better at academics in high school, but when athletics became even more of an important determinant of social standing (or so I thought at the time), I gave up the books to work out even more after discovering weights my sophomore year.  I should have balanced the weights with the books.  For any jocks of any age reading this, I urge you to remember that evolutionary living requires a brain workout along with learning about diet and muscle growth.  But this post is written for someone else in mind.

If you’re scared right now, if you’re getting picked on, if you’re a bit overweight, or small, or too thin, or have facial blemishes… it’s temporary.  You can and will have a very long and healthy life.  There’s no doubt you have the brains, now find your strength and healthy diet to make yourself all that much more smarter and happier, you can do it.   

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009 at 2:33 am and is filed under Kairos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.